San Antonio, TX
Friday March 19, 2004
7:37am I had a great magical night at Kassie's. We didn't have sex or anything. We just slept together and messed around. She's motivation for the mission. She doesn't want a relationship and I can respect that. It wouldn't be fair to her to have a relationship with me because I am so, hehe, crazy.
8:16am I decided to walk to the hospital. Anyway, my recorder is messing up, so I'm going to switch to the other one I have. My backup.
Man, I had a glorious time. I have to try really hard not to fall in love with this girl. I might not have a choice in it. In the end, she's a Babylonian. She's got a credit card. She's got an apartment. She's got a job. She just got a new job at the carwash. She's going to school. She just can't be as liberated as I'd need my companion to be. But hey, at least she gave me a little taste. We set the ground rules down from the beginning and we both knew what could and couldn't be done. We were messing around last night. No sexual intercourse though. We were just messing around. Playing with each others genitals. She's just beautiful. She makes me feel so good.
9:11am Mike is hooking me up with a cigarette here at the Walmart. I appreciate it, brother.
9:23am I got off the 610 and I'm going to walk to my mom's house.
9:28am Bob just drove by and yelled, "Fuck you, nigger!"
11:35am I am leaving my mom's house. She told me, "You can't help me today. I have all this stuff to do." I told her, "Oh, there's nothing I can do at all? Give me some chores." I cleaned the hell out of the bathroom. Real quick. I cleaned both of them. She hooked me up with like three or four bucks. I'm going to go to Travis Park and smoke some weed.
12:05pm I came in the Exxon to get some water. I asked the girl working there, Angel if she smoked cigarettes by any chance. She gave me two! That's very generous of you.
Kickass, I got two cigarettes. One for the platform and everything. I'm glad I decided to walk to the woods.
12:42pm I ended up on Hetherington. I'm going to see if Dana's home. Maybe she'll smoke me out.
Not Hetherington, it was John Barret.
I just ran into Mark and Crystal on the way to the Walmart. That girl was like, "Hey, don't you know my friend Rene?" I told her, "Uhh, I know a lot of people. What neighborhood?" She said Babcock North. I said, "Oh, I know everybody in Babcock North.
1:21pm I'm at the Walmart now.
1:30pm I smoked a cigarette at the bus stop. I saw some guy who works for Perico's Mexican Restaurant, who I've talked to before. Perico's is on Tezel where it turns into Prue at Bandera.
1:34pm This guy complimented my stick at the Walmart.
1:56pm I'm over at the bus stop again. I played videogames. I played Coolboarders and a cool mountain bike game.
2:28pm I had a great presentation on the 610 on the way up here.
2:31pm Mike hooked me up with a cigarette here at the hospital. I appreciate it, brother.
3:30pm I am downtown. I'm going to walk to Travis Park and get me a joint.
3:37pm Leonard hooked me up with a cigarette at Travis Park. I appreciate it, brother.
3:42pm I'm at Travis Park. Nobody's got any weed. I walked by and saw these brothers burning. I came over and they're going to smoke a brother out. I appreciate it, guys.
3:51pm Not only did he smoke me out, he just hooked me up with all these cookies. Some Stouffers Almond. Thanks, brother.
4:20pm I just had the most awesome presentation.
4:34pm Moon gave me a cigarette in Travis Park. I appreciate it.
I am a happy peace machine.
4:42pm I am walking down the sidewalk. I see some guy and he had a NOFX shirt on. I walked up to him and told him, "Excuse me, I want to tell you a story." He had to catch the bus.
4:45pm Oh yeah, I just realized today was Friday! I'm going to go to The Riverwalk.
4:47pm This pretty girl walked by I smiled and asked her, "Hey, can I tell you a really interesting story?" She said she had a bus to catch. I asked her if she had an email address and she gave it to me. I told her, "Victor Antonio from San Antonio." She said, "I'm from LA."
I came to this bridge over the river. I saw a riverboat full of tourists about to go underneath. I waved the peace sign to them all. This little kid gave it back to me and I heard his dad say, "Oh, there's a colorful one."
5:06pm Curtis hooked me up with a cigarette. I appreciate it, Curtis.
5:08pm I just talked to these two old people. That dude I got the cigarette off of. I told him, "I'm writing a book, blah, blah, blah and you're in it." I gave him my intro and asked if he'd listen. He said, "We are not willing to listen," and just walked off.
5:17pm I got bored of The Riverwalk.
Oh yeah, I walked back to Travis Park and bought a hotdog.
5:44pm Aaron hooked me up with a cigarette at Travis Park. I appreciate it, brother.
I need to describe to the world exactly what I am doing. I am sacrificing having a stable social life to do this project of mine. And I want one really bad. So I'm going to try real hard to do this.
After I do it, then I'll have time.
It'll be nothing but devotion.
6:20pm I'm just sitting here in Travis Park smoking a cigarette. These two brothers walked by and I hit them up for a story. They said sure. Jeremy and Ryan. Jeremy works at the riverboats downtown. I had asked them before for a courtesy ride and they always told me no. He's going to hook me up. For the cause. This is my town.
Tomorrow, Saturday 5-10:30pm. Okay, I'll remember that.
I just had the most excellent presentation! It just fell in my lap.
6:21pm I just got rewarded for that miraculous presentation I just gave. I really wanted a cigarette but there was nobody smoking at all. On the thing I usually eat my hotdogs on, there's a whole cigarette! I must be doing some good work.
Thank you, Love. Thank you so much for sending me Water Snake who gave me some marijuana. He hooked me up with three or four roaches. I got a good little bowl.
Thank you, Water Snake.
Had another good presentation. Awesome.
6:36pm I am having the most fun in the park. I scare all these birds out of a tree and they all fly around the park and land on a different one. I'm just swinging my stick at them and they all fly away. When they land on the other tree, I walk up to that one and scare them again. I think they're learning now. Not all of them fly away anymore when I swing my stick.
6:41pm Haha, the funniest shit. I was trying to scare the birds away. They were pissing me off because they weren't flying away anymore. I picked a twig off the ground, backed up and lunged it at them. And I fell on my ass! It was hilarious. In front of everybody. Everybody's going to be talking about me, hehe.
6:54pm Joe hooked me up with a cigarette here in Travis Park. I appreciate it, brother.
7:02pm The driver told me no.
7:03pm Mr. 5209 hooked me up with a courtesy ride. I appreciate it, brother.
7:47pm Domingo hooked me up with a transfer too. The bus driver. I appreciate it, brother.
7:52pm Mike gave me a cigarette at the gas station. I appreciate it, brother.
8:04pm That dude I bummed the cigarette off, Mike, I don't know if he's homeless or not. I got that cigarette from him and he said, "I remember you. I met you at Crossroads a long time ago." He was all into my story. He told me to look up chaos theory. I'm going to do that.
I wrote it down and everything. Things happens for a reason. I met this guy on purpose.
Oh, I'm going to see if I can get hooked up at the Whataburger. I forgot. That's why I got off at Louis Pasteur. That's where I talked to Mike. At the Texaco on Louis Pasteur.
8:11pm Sean wasn't at the Whataburger. Umm, I can rule out that Whataburger as a future resource now. I gave the manager my line and everything. He told me, "Oh, we can't give out free food." I told him, "Oh well, it doesn't hurt to ask. I'll just go to the Mexican restaurant and get hooked up there." Which is what I'm doing. I'm going to go to the Blanco's Mexican Restaurant.
8:15pm I went to the Blanco's Mexican Restaurant and that guy who always hooks me up was working. I asked, "I don't suppose you guys could hook me up again." He said, "Do you want some bud, man?" I said, "Sure!" He was just joking around. He said, "My boss' wife is here." So no food there. I don't know. I'll probably just eat at my mom's house. I'm going to catch the bus to West.
8:20pm I got the idea to go down to Quizno's and hit them up there. I don't think I've ever scored there. Quizno's is good.
8:22pm They told me no at the Quizno's.
8:29pm Jose me dio un cigaro en Datapoint.
8:30pm Michael is volunteering a dollar and a cigarette after listening to my story. I appreciate it, brother.
That dude I got the cigarette from, Michael, he told me, "You know I really am the Arch Angel. I am publishing my book." I told him, "I'm giving mine away, hehe."
8:40pm I bought me a Snicker's Cruncher and came to the bus stop at Datapoint and Fredericksburg. I'm going to wait for the bus. I'm going to eat this thing and smoke a cigarette.
8:42pm This guy walked by and said, "Hey, you're the walker?"
9:03pm There's the 91, I see the lights. Oh yeah, this is so cool. The bus driver who hooked me up with a transfer tore it off so I got an extra hour. Like a three hour transfer.
I'm going to go to West and have some fun there.
9:06pm When the 91 pulled up I got on and gave him my transfer. The driver said, "That's right, you better have that. I was about to tell you no." He all thought I was going to ask for a ride. That's funny. They all know me, hehe.
Oh yeah, I told him how the last bus driver hooked me up with a three hour transfer.
9:20pm I'm at West. Going to get some water.
9:23pm Jojo hooked me up with a cigarette. I appreciate it.
9:55pm After I smoked the cigarette I bummed at the smoking cabana, I sat down on the bench in the parking lot next to the seven thousand building. I was thinking about asking for rides. I saw these two kids working on their car. I sure enough told them my story and Thomas said he'd give me a ride to Babcock North and he offered to buy me a pack of cigarettes! I appreciate it, brother.
10:05pm What a grand time I am having tonight. I told them they could just drop me off at the bus stop, so they wouldn't have to go too far. They dropped me off on Spring Forest. Oh yeah, this morning Bob drove by and told me FUCK YOU NIGGER! Hahaha.
That guy who offered to buy me a pack asked me, "What kind of cigarettes do you smoke?" I told him, "I don't know. It's all the same nicotine. Surprise me." When he ordered the packs he said, "Two Marlboro Reds 100's." I said, "Shorts, please." I got some Marlboro Reds.
That girl who gave me a dollar earlier, I didn't even ask for it.
Cool, party at Bob's. Bob just got out of his truck.
10:38pm It wasn't a party here. Dude, I just found out that Carlos broke his leg while I was in California! He got all drunk and shit and got in a fight. Some guy fell on his leg and broke it. His femur. Damn. Oh, he won't let me put my offline webpage on his computer. Pussy.
12:32am I am leaving Carlos'. I wrote Kassie a really long email. Hopefully, I'll have a good response to it. It's nothing but the truth. I don't know. Check it out:
From: "Victor Antonio"
To: deafdumbandspastic@hotmail.com
Subject: Hello dear Kassie
Date: Sat, 20 Mar 2004 14:21:37 +0800
Hi Kassie,
It's me, Victor. It's Friday night and I ended up at my friend Carlos' tonight. I'm looking forward to the five mile nature hike to my mom's house. I think about you all the time. You have no idea how much I needed the recharge you have given me. All this talking to strangers has really paid off. Look what happened after I told you my story at the bus stop. I will never forget that beautiful grin on your face, right before you told me you saw me kicked out of the library at UTSA.
I am well aware that I am sacrificing a stable social life in pursuit of this dream of mine. I have accepted that. I will get everything I want in due time. I am just way too transient to commit to just one person, for now. As much as I would really like to, I have a world to save. I feel like what I am doing is what's supposed to be done and that's why I have to be the way I am. Sacrifice to benefit the all.
I have added yet another pre-requisite for my ideal traveling partner. She must not mind my scriptage. It doesn't seem too likely that I will find the girl who will accept my quirks any time soon. Also, to find a girl that would be willing to liberate herself and detach from the system as much as I have is going to be a real toughy, if not nearly impossible. That's why I have to wait for the project to evolve some more. Soon, I will have my pick of companion and I wouldn't be too surprised if the one I pick was a lot like Kassie, hehe.
Like I say, I am a self-programmed peace machine. A robot. I am going to read off my text files until it happens. That's a promise. I am still waiting to tell the right person my story and have my dreams come true. It'll happen. I just have to be patient. Good things come to those who wait.
I will consider any suggestion from anyone, but in the end I am playing this game by my rules. I may seem a little egocentric, but I am the only one I can fully trust with this project of mine.
You are hereby a great contributor to my mission, Kassie. I enjoy your company so much. It's so nice to have someone to love on, especially someone as cute as you. Everyone deserves someone to love on. Even if it's just a warm embrace or a kiss on the cheek once in a while. Just being close to you satisfies me. It is so much more than what I usually get. You make me giddy like a little kid. I am truly grateful. Bless you, Kassie.
Okay, Kassie. I can't believe it took me this long to email you. I hope this email didn't sound too cheesy and everything is still cool with you and me. Anything you want to tell me just tell me. I want to know how you feel. Please let me know if you need me to back off. I really don't want to smother you. I know I can't play by just my rules when I am not working. I am slowly learning how not to. You have been so much help.
Much love,
- Victor Antonio
"Grief can take care of itself, but to get the true measure of joy, you have to have somebody to share it with."
- Mark Twain
I'm walking home. I called my mom and told her to leave the door unlocked. I was thinking about crashing out at the platform in the woods. I'm tired.
1:56am I walked up to the Exxon. I saw this dude Adrian who told me he was a walker. I never had a chance to tell him my story. I tried telling him my story now. All of a sudden these cops show up. He tells me, "Actually, I have to count my cigarettes." Oh yeah, he told me I should go to the rainbow gatherings. I told him, "The national in Utah let me down." I told him, "I could wait around. When do you think you could listen to me?" He told me, "Around three." I told him I would tell him some other time.
2:03am I'm heading home.
2:34am I'm at my mom's house already.
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